Granted but you find out it cost way more than you bargained for.

I wish haters stop hating.

Granted but you soon found that life just wasnt the same without them.

I wish I had a cat, that could read minds and grant wishes.

Granted, but the cat takes your personal thoughts and uses it against you with black mail.

I wish I could exercise in my sleep and save myself some time and effort.

Granted Your now so muscular that you cant move any of your joints

I wish that my vocaloid programs worked again

Granted, but you forgot how to use them.

I wish I could upgrade all of my electronics to the most current working devices with normal objects around my house

Granted Now you can't understand how to use the fancy new programs

I wish my school wasn't so boring

Granted, but the rest of your life becomes boring in comparison.

I wish I never felt sleepy...

Granted, but now you miss the feeling of needing sleep.

I wish I had better cosplaying skills.

Granted, but you're too good that you've been banned from the masquerades.

I wish everyone would stop nagging me about breaking up with my ex.

Granted now everyone's bragging about how great their love life is

I wish i diddn't have a cold ><

Granted, but now you have herpes.

I wish bad things would stop happening to the motor vehicles I touch.

Granted but now it happens to all electrical appliances instead,

Wish that good things happens all the time and no bad things.

Granted!! But now the world becomes over populated and life is unpleasent forever

Wish teens could get a job easier

Granted, now the anti-child labor laws are lifted and all minors are allowed to work menial labor jobs with little to no pay instead of going to school thus propagating a future generation of under educated youths in low income families that can only find work doing menial labor jobs because their families can't afford to send their kids to school because of the debt they've accrued in housing costs provided by the factory they work for. And all big businesses make landfall profits with the drop off in labor costs.

I wish my pasta cutter actually cut my pasta dough rather than score it.

GRANTED!! You cut your hand off because you don't know how to use it properly

Wish I wasn't the only person of these forums

Granted! Now the forums are full of trolls.

I wish I didn't attract the creepers.

Granted! You now attract mangy, rabid squirrels that thirst for your blood.

I wish I had a pair of new jeans.

Granted, but they're grandma jeans and they make you look fat.

I wish someone would wash my dishes for me.

GRANTED!! The robot kills you in your sleep

Wish people wouldn't act like assholes (and yes I include myself in that group)

Granted!! Now everyone's a hippie.

I wish my body wouldn't ache so much.