Granted. Now you feel no pain... and you have no idea when you need to go see the doctors.

I wish for my very own Gundam mobile suit.

Granted! But it explodes as soon as you get it on.

I wish that unicorns would do my work for me.

Granted, but it's all half-assed and smells like unicorn dung.

I wish Mario would find Princess Peach himself.

GRANTED! The game sucks now

Wish I wouldn't attract crazy chicks

Granted! now you only attract featherless chickens.

I wish mini bunnies lived in giant sunflowers.

Granted, but they're all killed off by a swarm of angry bees.

I wish people didn't have to judge before meeting someone in real life.

GRANTED!! Your friends are douchebags

Wish people would go to my meetups

Granted, but they only go to eat free food.

I wish styling wigs was easy.

GRANTED!! Everybody has great wigs and its harder to make them look better then everybody elses.

Wish I was going to NAU (North Arizona University)

Granted but it turns out they don't have your major so you have to transfer to some creepy school where everyone is weird. o--o

I wish I could go back into the past and change a series of events so today would be different. o3o

GRANTED!! You're your own grandmother and Doctor Who never excisted

Wish people would act their age

Granted, but we don't have people to make fun of and life is a little sadder

I wish we were all a little more creative

Granted, now everyone is infinitely more creative than you.

I wish I could fold paper cranes faster.

GRANTED!! The world is destroyed in the future by those very paper cranes.

Wish people would stop already with "The Game" and "Over 9000"

Granted but now you have to listen to the "Bird is the Word" for all of eternity

I wish I could stay dry riding my motorcycle in the rain.

Granted, but your skin can never moisturize again.

I wish my room would stay clean!

GRANTED!! No room

I wish people would stop coming to my school asking about me during lunch time.

Granted! Now nobody cares about you enough to know your name.

I wish I didn't have to worry about class.

GRANTED!! No class.

Wish people listen to me when I'm positive (it happens rarly)

Granted, now they can't tell when you're depressed.

I wish you could come up with better responses.